In Review...

Okay, so here it is.  I did get a break from this not so 9 to 5, in a way.  I was hospitalized on 2/14 (yes, Valentine's Day) for a pretty bad bi-lateral pneumonia.  I spent 5 days in ICU.  Apparently, I was in critical condition, and the chances that I would make it were questionable.  I can say that I just remember being tired and not wanting all of the tubes that were attached to me to be there!  In that state, I wasn't much help to anyone, especially my family.  This was very traumatic for them.  I looked different.  I acted different.  Each new doctor (because I did have a few) and new test brought them more stress.  There was screaming pain and tears.  My poor family could just sit and watch.  And pray.  After the 5 days I was downgraded to stable and moved back into the regular areas of the hospital.  It was there that I stayed another five days.  During my long stay in the hospital, my children were shuffled (very lovingly and carefully) between houses.  Friends and family always making sure that someone was there with them, loving them.  But as far as the kids were concerned....one day Mommy just left.  It has been very hard since.  Nightmares are common now.

My husband has 'losing his wife' nightmares and thoughts that just pop into his head at random times.  Each of the kids are trying to sleep with us, every night.  Our oldest confessed one night that he had overheard the grownups talking, and that I may die, and he just burst into tears.  My baby boy (who will be two next month) wouldn't look at me for the first hour that I was home.  He was visibly mad at my awful betrayal.  Now I can not peel him from my side!  If I put my shoes on, he cries.  If I get a sweater on, he cries.  If I put his shoes on, he cries.  If I walk away, at any time when he is not ready for it, he cries.  Our diabetic son has started giving us the kind of trouble with diabetes issues that he had when he was first diagnosed.  Our daughter has been having issues with not listening (even more than usual) and zoning us completely out!  I have tons of issues too, but they'll come later.

It has been a long month.  It isn't over yet...